Wake Up, Look Up

Hello everyone, and thanks for listening to Wake Up, Look Up, a podcast where we connect events happening in real time to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm Zach Weihrauch, and in today's episode, we're asking the question, why is dating so broken? And it's prompted by an article I read in the Washington Post recently, and the article title was pretty catchy. It was, if you're dating, here's one thing you should keep in mind. Talk about clickbait, right? But a recent study of 375 singles found that the people who date with clear goals, in other words, they date because they're headed towards something, whether that's marriage or friendship, or they're looking for something in particular, they have an outcome in mind, are less lonely and more fulfilled than those who are dating just to date. In other words, those that are headed somewhere and view dating as part of the process to get there are happier and more fulfilled in the process of dating than those that are just kind of haphazardly going through that. It's interesting when I read this article, because they were falling all over themselves to say, now wait a second. That doesn't mean they were pursuing marriage. It doesn't mean that dating has to be connected to marriage. And, they can say that, but. But of course, that's a pretty obvious connection, isn't it? If I said, hey, you should meet my friend Susan, she's dating with in serious intention, you would assume I was talking about marriage. What other intention would there be? Any other intention would be so little and so low that it really wouldn't be much of an intention at all. If you say, I'm dating to have fun, that's not a goal. That is literally kind of haphazardly moving through the motions. So dating with the end goal of marriage in mind leads to you being less lonely, more happy, and more fulfilled. I think probably part of the reason for that is because it means setbacks in dating are really just clarity on who does and doesn't fit in where you are going. It isn't even always about personal rejection as much as it is, hey, I'm looking for a husband. I'm looking for a wife. I'm looking for a future father and mother to my kids, and this person isn't that, or we aren't headed towards building the compatible Christ honoring marriage that I'm, looking for. Clarity helps us avoid confusion. It protects our peace. It helps us to walk away wisely. And that's why the writer of Proverbs in Proverbs 4:23 says, above all else, guard your heart, for from it flows every kind of life. Listen, this is what the writer is saying. He's saying that you have to be strategic. You have to be intentional. You have to be careful in all that you do in life. Because if your heart gets turned sideways, if it gets directed in the wrong way, man, you are really headed towards a negative outcome. So if you're single and, and you're listening to this, or you are in relationship with a single, a son, a daughter, a brother, a sister, and you want to give them some advice, here it is. Know where you're headed in your dating. Be clear about your expectations. Be clear about what you're looking for. Listen, people are messy and people are in progress and a, A, perfect person to date isn't out there. And even if they were, they, they wouldn't be interested in you because you're not perfect. Messiness is part of life. It's part of being in relationships. But there's a difference between messiness on its way to meaning and messiness that is just messy. You should be thinking about marriage. You should be thinking about what you're looking for in a husband, wife, father, mother. You should say, if I want a Christ honoring marriage, if I want my marriage to be about the advancement and of the kingdom, then there are some things that really matter. I'm not saying on your first date, you need to lead with a question about their quiet time, but you also need to begin to move towards intentional conversations regularly. And if a person is uncomfortable with that, then they're not the person you should be dating. Because as studies are showing us, and the Bible's been telling us, using each other just for momentary pleasure or superficial relationship not only doesn't build meaningful relationships and lead to marriage, it doesn't actually make us happy as people. So I guess here's what I'm really saying. Let the Bible guide your approach to dating, because, as social scientists are telling you, it's actually been right for a long time. Hey, thanks for watching this episode of Wake Up, Look Up. If you enjoyed it, please help us get the word out by sharing it with someone you think might benefit from it. And while you're here, make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel to get further content or even download the CCC app, where you'll find even more resources to help you grow in your faith and relationship with Jesus Christ.

Have an article you’d like Zach to discuss? Email us at wakeup@ccchapel.com!