Wake Up, Look Up

[Music]

hello everyone thanks for listening to

wake up lookup a podcast where we

connect events happening in real time to

the Gospel of Jesus Christ I'm Zach

wrock and in today's episode we're

asking the question does Love Lie this

is prompted by a very honest and

vulnerable essay I read about Al by

Alison sweet Grant in the New York Times

about her own experience as a child and

her parents lying to her she dealt with

a couple of physical uh realities and

one of them required surgery and her

parents told her it would be painless

that the recovery process would be

smooth when in fact she has lived in

pain for most of her life after that and

she was reflecting on that she was kind

of picking at the idea of parents lying

to their kids let's just say this before

we go any further uh who Among Us hasn't

done that from time to time sometimes it

feels like the easiest and simplest

thing to do to your kids is to just

shade the truth a little bit because

they're not old enough or wise enough or

ready for the actual truth and in this

case uh Allison sweet Grant said that's

what her parents did and it might have

made sense to them but it actually

caused her a lot of damage because as

she reflects upon it she realizes that

was when she first started to believe

that those who cared about her those in

Authority might not be trustworthy she

talks about how lies can feel loving but

even research shows that uh That Loving

Feeling doesn't last because eventually

the person finds out that you shaded the

truth and as a result The Experience

they have of losing confidence in

someone they thought they should trust

is in many ways more damaging than the

truth would have been in the moment

and the reason why this is so relevant

is because this is bigger than parents

and kids uh this is everything from the

wife saying to the husband how do I look

to the friend inviting you to the thing

you don't want to go to and you creating

a a madeup reason why you can't go we

all feel from time to time like the

kindest simplest most loving thing to do

is to lie but here's the reality of

following Jesus it isn't following Jesus

if you only do what he tells you to do

when you already agree with it the magic

of the Christian Life is the idea that

God has made himself knowable which

means when he tells us to Zig when we

might have otherwise zagged when he

tells us to tell the truth when we feel

like the most loving thing to do is to

lie it isn't that He is wanting to make

us miserable it's that he's telling us

he knows something we don't know about

what will lead us to happiness and the

person we're talking to to happiness as

well look Jesus said this way in John

chapter 8 the truth will set you free

there's a connection between knowing and

believing and understanding the truth

and actually living a life free free of

insecurity free of doubt and free of

relational Brokenness now listen the

truth does need to be shared in love in

Ephesians 4 Paul makes this clear when

we tell the truth we should do so and a

loving and kind way there is some truth

sometimes to the what the advice your

mom used to give when she would say if

you don't have anything nice to say just

don't say anything no one's telling you

you have to run around with a stream of

Consciousness and then couch your

painful words in saying hey I'm supposed

to tell the truth but what the Bible is

telling us is that truth leads to

Freedom relationally when it is shared

in love listen the reason why we lie is

often because we're afraid of what will

happen Paul tells us in second Timothy

that God has not given us a spirit of

fear listen we lie to each other a lot

because we don't want to hurt each other

that's what we say but is it not also

true that we're more isolated and lonely

and bad at relationships than we've ever

been maybe we don't know what we're

doing maybe when the husband says to his

wife you look fine when he thinks he's

being kind maybe her takeaway is uh

maybe the way I look doesn't doesn't

move the needle for him anymore the

point is we can't possibly understand

the consequences of anything we say as

they Ripple out but God can and he tells

us truth is the way to Love by the way

Jesus modeled this read the gospels and

just this is just a fun study as fun as

the way a pastor would Define it for you

this weekend read a gospel and just make

note of every time Jesus says something

true and uncomfortable true and

difficult true and hard every time that

you and I might have been tempted to to

shade the truth might have been tempted

to soften it but he doesn't but wasn't

Jesus loving isn't he the ultimate

expression of love it's because Jesus

understood something the Proverbs writer

says which I think is a powerful

powerful truth is that he talks about

faithful are the wounds of a friend

that's Proverbs 276 that actually loving

someone is caring enough about them to

tell the truth believing they love you

enough to say I just don't want to go to

that thing this weekend because I'm

feeling pretty rund down and I need a

break that invites a conversation about

how you're doing and how they might care

for you that making up a reason why you

can't be there doesn't do listen when we

are honest with each other when we say

the hard thing in love when we hear the

hard thing in love it actually frees us

up to really be in relationship to be

vulnerable to be honest to be known and

to know that's what God wants for us

does Love Lie it doesn't how do I know

that because God is love and he never

lies hey thanks so much for watching

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