Wake Up, Look Up

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[Music]

hello everyone thanks for listening to

wake up lookup a podcast or we connect

events happening in real time to the

Gospel of Jesus Christ I'm Zach wck and

in today's episode we're asking the

question do I need sibling therapy this

is prompted by an article I read this

week that was pointing to a New Rising

Trend in therapy circles and that is of

you going to what is in some ways like

couples therapy only instead of with

someone you're romantically involved

with you're going with your sibling it's

sibling therapy and and the article was

suggesting that overwhelmingly this is

the arena of therapy where people have

the greatest need and yet the largest

blind spot that's because 80% of the

people in the United States have a

sibling so most of us have someone that

we grew up with that we are supposed to

be at least on paper relationally close

to and even if we're not we are

biologically close to uh scientists will

tell us that uh Behavior scientists will

tell us that siblings are kind of like a

laboratory of learning for Rel

relationships meaning they're the people

we first learn to navigate conflict with

or uh using our imagination uh confiting

in being empathetic towards in other

words we're learning healthy or

unhealthy patterns often times from our

siblings now this is interesting because

most of us who have been to therapy and

I'm definitely including myself and that

number know that when you go to therapy

the relationship you should expect to

talk about is that with your parents and

that's important parent child

relationship ships really do shape who

we become as adults but not exclusively

because siblings actually have a huge

impact on us in fact they've done

studies that suggest that healthy

attachment to siblings significantly

decreases your likelihood to struggle

with depression meanwhile unhealthy

attachment to siblings actually

significantly increases the likelihood

you will deal with depression that's

because we're hardwired to know that our

sibling relationships are supposed to be

meaning ful and when they're not we live

with that in fact one therapist I read

in the article said that they're kind of

like Shadow relationships that a a

sibling relationship that is broken kind

of hangs over you constantly you you

can't shake it even though you think you

have which means that when we step into

marriage or friendship or business

Partnerships whatever meaningful

relationships we do form whether we

realize it or not the way we form those

relationships is often

affected by our own relationships with

our siblings which is why the article

was suggesting we may want to grab a

sibling or two and go to therapy to talk

about the struggles we've had to talk

about how we might be missing each other

to talk about a path moving forward

listen here I think in particular of

Paul's instruction in the Book of Romans

chapter 12 verse 18 where he says as

much as it depends on you live at peace

with all people people it's interesting

to me that often times people legitimize

Behavior within their families they

would never legitimize outside of their

families so sin goes unconfessed trauma

goes unaddressed because hey that's

family and family is messy you're right

it's messy and that messy is with you

more than you think and as a follower of

Jesus you can't just disconnect and

throw that messiness away you may never

actually have a meaningful relationship

with your sibling but that doesn't mean

you shouldn't clear the air that doesn't

mean you shouldn't have a reset where

you own what you need to own or hear

confessed and then give forgiveness

towards what you need to give

forgiveness towards and therapy can be a

helpful tool in that if nothing else a

cup of coffee can get you a pretty long

way as you sit with your sibling and

actually look them in the eye and talk

about things but you might need help in

doing that and so in some way this

podcast is just designed to help get you

unstuck if you're starting to realize

that hey wait a minute my negative

sibling relationships are affecting me

in more ways than I think and I don't

know what to do about it it's exactly

for situations like that that therapy

exists my encouragement is to find a

counselor particularly if you can a

Christian counselor who will bring the

word of God to bear on that relationship

help you find peace help you find

resolution again you don't have to have

a deep abiding meaningful friendship

that'd be awesome well we're not all

going to have that but in the absence of

that you can and should work towards

peace hey thanks so much for watching

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