Wake Up, Look Up

[Music]

hello everyone thanks for listening to

wake up lookup a podcast where we

connect events happening in real time to

the Gospel of Jesus Christ I'm Zach wck

and today's episode we're asking the

question are you talking about it with

your kids and as you might imagine it is

a substitute for a word you might not

want your kids to hear so if you're

listening around kids I'll pause just a

second for you to finish this episode

when they're not

around okay the it in this question is

pornography this is prompted by an

article I read this week that I thought

was really provocative and interesting

and and basically the argument of the

article is that parents need to stop

thinking about porn prevention and start

thinking about porn literacy uh the best

metaphor I can give for you is when I

was a kid growing up in school there was

a real kind of culture War argument over

uh whether or not schools should be

teaching safe sex on the one hand you

had people saying you shouldn't be

creating the idea for kids that sex is

okay outside of marriage on the other

side were people saying look whether you

talk about it or not kids are going to

have sex be way better if they were

informed about what it should should

look like than if they weren't well a

similar argument is coming to our

schools it's called porn literacy and it

is the argument that kids are looking at

pornography whether you want them to

look at it or not they are looking at it

in fact studies now show that most kids

by the age of 12 will have viewed

pornography at least once by the time

there's 17 73% of teenagers have viewed

pornography that's a pretty high number

add into it the fact that over half the

pornography they will view will be

violent in nature studies are also

showing that the viewing of pornography

particularly violent pornography leads

to earlier sex among kids and heavier

and more aggressive forms of sex among

teenagers so the problem at least as one

side puts it is that kids are looking at

pornography and they are not equipped to

figure out what's real and what is not

real because when kids watch a movie

about superheroes they inherently know

this is not real that's because they

know they would have seen by now flying

people in the sky or people with super

strength or shape-shifting abilities or

what have you but the thing is kids know

that sex is real it is something that

really happens what they can't

distinguish is between the pornographic

images or videos they see and what

actual sex looks like and so what they

end up thinking is that what is fake is

real and what is harmful is actually

enjoyable so an argument is coming

that's saying hey we need to equip kids

to sort through what is okay pornography

and what is bad pornography what is

realistic or God forbid they're even

using this language romantic pornography

over and against aggressive or violent

pornography uh look as you might guess

I'm not a fan of porn literacy it gives

up way too much ground it's argument

that kids are going to look at porn

anyway so we should equip them to sort

good porn from bad porn gives up a point

I don't want to give up there is no good

pornography pornography is a disease on

Humanity it corrupts the mind of the

people participating in the videos it

corrupts the society that looks the

other way or even legitimizes and it

corrupts the mind and heart of the

viewer parents should still be doing

everything they can to keep their

children from viewing pornography

internet friendly devices should only be

in public spaces filters should be on

every device that both parents and

children use take every chance you can

to practice porn prevention now having

said that here's what I know as a parent

of five kids break rules it doesn't mean

you don't have rules but kids will break

them so you also need to be having

conversations about pornography one of

the tricky things of parenting is that

you have to discipline your kids when

they step outside the boundaries you

establish for them to not do so really

does a away with the boundaries it

normalizes Behavior you don't want to

normalize but you have to be careful

that in your punishment for stepping

outside the boundaries you don't make it

so that you can't have conversations

with your kids about what they saw or

experienced outside of those boundaries

if you find that your child has looked

at pornography for example and you

ground them for a month you have

reinforced that their behavior is bad

but if you don't sit down and talk with

them about what they saw then those

images live unquestioned in their minds

and in their hearts they still have an

unreasonable and unhealthy understanding

of sex so even if you're going to

discipline them in that way you need to

sit down with them and ask them what did

you see what did you understand describe

for me what you saw so that I can help

you think through what is healthy and

right and best the truth is as parents

we have to build safe boundaries around

our kids while simultaneously seeking to

be the place they go when they have

questions about sex because those

questions will either be left up to the

imagination or God forbid answered by

sources out there that you don't want

informing your kids so I don't have to

choose between saying no to porn or

helping them pick the best kinds of porn

I want to do everything I can to say no

but I also want to help them navigate

what is increasingly becoming a porn

friendly and porn saturated World sex

can ruin our kids' lives it can also be

an incredible part of human flourishing

we have to play the long game and say my

goal isn't necessarily that my kid never

steps outside the boundaries I can't

control that but I do want to raise a

healthy adult with a Biblical worldview

as it comes to sex I know it's awkward

have the conversation anyways that's

what it looks like to love and lead your

kids hey thanks so much for watching

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